Sikur te isha djale

400L

Titulli: Sikur të isha djalë
Gjinia: Roman
Autori: Haki Stërmilli
Shtëpia botuese: Letrat
Viti: 2002
Fq. 192

Categories: , , Tags: , Product ID: 1803

Description

Fragmente nga libri

Hodha nji sy në faqen e parë dhe lexova: Më shkrepi ta shkruej jetën time. Ky mendim më leu tue i pa fotografitë e ndryshme që të përfytyrojnë xha Simonin qysh në kohën e fëmijnisë. Përse të mos e shkruej?

Jeta ime për të tjerët, ndoshta nuk, nuk e vlen asnji dysh, por për mue ka rëndësi, se asht imja, se mund të përshkohet nëpër faza të ndryshme interesante dhe dikur, tue i këndue në këto fletë gëzimet ose hidhërimet e mia, do të kënaqem ose do të pezmatohem. Sikurse pëson ndryshime trupi i njeriut tue u lakue nëpër rrathët e moshës, pa dyshim, ashtu ndodh edhe me jetën.

Mbasandej kapërceva disa faqe e këndova: Mbasandej kush mund të pretendojë se nuk ka në mes të meshkujve djem e burra të bukur? Mos kujton ndokush se nuk ka bukuri mashkullore? Sikur të mundesh me folë femna me atë liri gjuhe që kanë meshkujt, kushedi se sa poezi do të vargëzonte për me e përshkue bukurinë e shokut të vet jo gjini.

Kush mundet me më sigurue se nuk ka me mija femna që tue kundrue mbas kafazit të dritares ose nëpërmjet të perces së hollë, nuk shprazin nga goja mija e mija tubëza vjeshash për ata që u kalojnë pranë, pa ditë se kanë plagosë randë disa zemra të strukura brenda do krijesave të dënueme me burgim të përjetshëm?

Oh,sa e sa sy vajzash, nga plasat e dyerve ose nga birat e kafazeve, ndjekin e përcjellin kalimtarë të rinj me rrafje të forta të zemrave që s’kanë liri e të drejtë shfrimi e dashunimi, megjithëqe natyra edhe ato, sikurse meshkujt dhe ndoshta më shumë se ata, i ka pajtue me ndjesitë e dashunisë. Pak ma andej, mbasi shfletova disa fletë, ndesha në këtë pjesë interesante: S’di se cfarë lidhje mund të mbetet në mes të dy bashkëshortëve kur futet ndërmjet tyne mënia në trajtë shamjeje e rrafjeje?

Grueja që poshtnohet me shamje të randa dhe rrifet, o duhet të jetë lopë që ti meritojë, ose të ketë interes apo frikë nga burri që nuk e këput atë lihej që i ka bashkue dikur formalisht e jo shpirtnisht, sepse jeta e përbashkët, në rasa e në kushte të tilla, bahet e padurueshme. Për ta shmangë cdo mosmarrveshje, për të pasë harmoni të vazhdueshme dhe për të ba nji familje të lumtun , ata që do të martohen përpara se ta bashkojnë fatin e jetës lypet të jenë njoftë, t’i kenë pajtue karakteret dhe ta kenë dashunue njeni-tjetrin. Përndryshe, s’bajnë tjetër vecse krijojnë nji ferr për me e torturue veten dhe për t’i përcëllue në flakët e tij edhe fëmijët që do t’u lejnë.

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